Giving Art

In our house we have a simple rule about gifts; If a thing is very difficult to part with, then it must be the perfect gift. If you see it at the store while you are looking for a gift and you stumble on a thing you would love to have for yourself, then it must be the gift you are looking for. This idea helps us when we begin to feel too precious about our things. Art, on the other hand, something I once stood on a streetcorner screaming to noone: "I have no time for ART!" about--is a tricky object. Art is both a thing and a necessity. We need it to live. On one hand, if you are very poor -- you buy groceries for the children, not art. If you are very poor and your soul is right--you will make and give art. If you are very poor and your soul is trapped in your fears and worries about being poor--you will need someone to give art to you. A long time ago I was very distracted with the idea that everything I do, make, touch, and think about must have an awareness of its artistic quality. That's not true. I still think this way--only now my soul is a little trapped in fear and worry. A long time ago I designed a tattoo which is now on my body that reflected this idea. I wear it on my back and never see it and so it is easy to forget I have this mark. I don't want to discuss what I mean by art. When I say art I only mean art. Something created or born in the act of human creation. As an artist, I have had trouble thinking about how to price my art in the past. My instinct was always that it must be given away. The making of it was my gift--and it should go to someone after the making of it who is separate from the making of it. That's how I thought. That's not true. I still think art is not a thing anyone really owns. Like land. We only think we own it. We only think our borders are real. We only think this patch of dirt is one county and that patch of dirt is another county--but really it is all one land separated by imaginary dilineations. Our friend J-Dawg called last night to tell us she has some art to give us. She said some of it is a gift and some a loan. Another friend let us borrow a painting awhile-months later she came and took it back to hang in a gallery. Now that place on the wall is empty again. The room the wall looks over is different now--something is missing--wanted. I like to buy terrible paintings anonymous artists--too likely poor--painted, paintings that ended up in the second hand store. Lately I have enjoyed finding these paintings and buying them. I buy sculptures, pottery, and paintings for one dollar or two dollars and hang them or place them around. If they fall from the wall and break it will be easier to understand that this just happens sometimes. It is sad sometimes when they are not signed. Often, they are not signed. I painted over one of them which I found offensive but liked the shape of the canvas. That painting was signed, but it bothered my soul, so I painted over it. I used the original artist's paint texture to determine the shape and content of my painting. I wonder whose painting it is now?