Waiving Philoso Fists

A special difficulty arises when I try to decide
what it is that I am (is) I mean__
in terms of deep belief.
An essentialist, conceptualist, pragmatist, categorist, existentialist, nihilist,
the list goes on.
I often browse the list, and then come to realize
I am (is) more of the mind of mud than man.

You may know of
A mathematician named Gottlob Frege
who invented the quantifier
and variable construction to formalize
expressions of generality in natural languages -- (I quote)
which makes sense if you believe
that the axioms from which truth starts
are firmly planted. Period.
Like some cornerstones.
The same cornerstones, by the by, that still support
very old and somewhat famous buildings
now depressingly condemned.
He was right you know. To put it plainly.
To have invented such a tool
for his special kind to use. So why wouldn't we
wonder: what have they done with it?

I ask because I am an activist
and want all important findings dealt with
right away. But I am also an atomist.
And believe in the frequent rearrangement of our smallest
enduring parts, but more than only for
their spatial extensions; as well
These things may smell like hot asphalt
or be the color cobalt blue,
And quite possibly have language!
I believe my magnitude on this is near a six
On the astronomical scale of value (faintest visible).
I try to remain confident. None the less.
In this way, I am pretty sure
I am also epiphenomenologically handicapped.
Simply because
this is difficult to say
I never announce it, not even to myself.

The epicenter of one’s tomfoolery or reason
For antecedent filibustering must remain
A private matter. It’s somewhat mad to manage this,
but why bother? As it is, the diagnosis is
too sophisticated to inspire a revolutionary rise
out of the Ordinary. For this I am careful.
Knowing with relative certainty
that some may posit acrimoniously—
if they are (since they are) likely
overbrave positionists— that
I think therefore I am (is)
Not a good rule for the
“Direction of Understanding” to follow.
Rather, this (and/or that) nonsense better serves
The more commonly practiced
“Method of Doubt” among men.
It is entirely possible
But I am more a ghostist than a manist,
And I cannot concern myself with fear
Of the way of water, force of light and ocean waves
And unseen origins of wild game theories.
Perhaps I am an idealist, but…
After all my searching I still dine
on a diet of worms and deeply
detest mob violence and dogmatists
And lug my disdain for this corporeal dross around
Like so much reformist enthusiasm
and with it I can’t hide:
There,
Now I am (is) finished.